"By Saturn's rings !" The Incredible Melting Man: A Z-Movie.

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Hello, there, everyone ! This is an updated version of a blog that I wrote some years ago and posted on version 1.0 of my previous website. So, I'm asking you to picture the scene: A man with a Geiger counter searches through the overgrown brush-grass. The man speaks; apparently to no one in particular.

"Steve, it's Ted. Let me help you. Do you hear me, Steve ? I'm all alone . I want to help you ! You can't survive out here by yourself ! Come back to the hospital, Steve...."

The camera pans across to what Ted has discovered - It's Steve's ear !! It's dripping off of the branches of a tree like a discarded slice of pizza.

And here, friends, is 1977's "The Incredible Melting Man ". Here is what appears to be your quintessential 'so-bad-it's-good' movie. Except. Well...it's shite !

Some films transcend their crappines and can be entertaining in their own unique and charming way: I'm thinking "Plan 9 From Outer Space"; "Zaat" - and their ilk. You can laugh with friends at cheap props or bad acting and just marvel at the audacity of the filmmakers. With the "I.M.M" however, you don't get even that !

Colonel Steve West (Alex Rebar) has returned from Saturn of all places (how's that for a late 70s space program ?)and has developed a case of extreme decomposition - with zombie flesh-eating tendencies. That's about it, really !

The film was written and directed by William Sachs, but was pretty much butchered by the producers (one of whom had his head cast for a stand-out decapitation ). The result is a movie that could've been okay, but winds up as a mess. Actually, some of the domestic scenes involving the aforementioned Ted and his wife ("Did you get the crackers ?") seem like they could have been part of a reasonable movie narrative. The original film as envisaged by Sachs could have been tolerable, at least. Instead, there's some ill-advised comic-relief in an uncomfortably randy old couple who just want to steal lemons. There's odd close-ups of the characters talking directly to the camera like it's an avant-garde stage play. AND, the whole plot is non-existent !

Problems aside, a good reason to watch this pish is the special effects make-up work by a young future-Oscar-winning Rick Baker. He'd just come off the back of designing and sculpting some of the aliens in the cantina scene in "Star Wars"(1977); along with Chris Walas - who would go on to "Gremlins"(1984) and also win an Oscar himself for "The Fly" (1986). Baker lays on the goo (mixed by his then new wife) with sheer aplomb. He did this movie purely because he could do the hands-on make-up effects himself; and he was actually getting paid more than he was for "Star Wars".

If you're interested in catching this grue-fest then it is out there on all manner of online platforms; as well as a fairly decent Blu-ray release. All I will say is that this film isn't one of those b-movies that is crap but entertaining. It's a Z-movie that's a hard slog if you want to pay attention to it - I sat through this dross only because I was updating my Redbubble page - and its butchered final form is only just enlivened by the top-flight make-up.

So, seek it out if you want. But remember this; It's his EAR !

Until next blog,

Cheers